So Who's Making The...

My friend Satheesh has this innate ability to argue about stuff he doesnt know. He reminds me of a chap in Kerala who, after going through movie posters, argues about the content of the movie with those who've seen it.

Satheesh and Bibin had decided to make chapathis and sabzi, respetively, for us on Saturday. It was Bibin's first attempt and he decided to make potato curry. Since it was his first attempt, Satheesh was quite apprehensive.

'You have to wait for the pressure cooker to whistle at least thrice.'

'Hello, who's cooking here, me or you?'

'No, I was just saying.'

Bibin steams the potatoes and then peels them under running water.

'Oh my God, dont you know that peeling potatoes like that makes them hard?'

Renny, Bibin and me look at Satheesh.

'No, I was just saying.'

Bibin sautes onions, green chillies and curry leaves, while adding the spices in between. He adds some salt, and then tosses in the potatoes along with some water. He then looks at Satheesh.

Satheesh doesnt return the look, he's busy making the chapathis. Bibin lowers the flame and allows the curry to cook slowly.

'Do you whats the difference between potato curry and that other curry...'

'Which other curry?'

'The one where they have potatoes and...'

'Yeah, they dont boil the potatoes, they directly add french fries and curry them'

Renny and me are ont the floor, laughing our heads off. Satheesh doesnt say much, but manages a wry smile.

Soon, the aloo and chapathis are ready. Bibin comes in for a good amount of praise, for making the curry so good on his first attempt. Even Satheesh agrees.

As we wash up, Renny asks, 'Tomorrow's Easter, guys- who's making the chicken?'

Hectic Means Not Hectic But OK!!

Say what?? The title of this post is what a friend of mine commented about his new job and work place. It makes you want to smile, but it also makes you think - how many people really mean what they say?

Sure, we've received lots of forwarded mails about girls not meaning what they say. Forget the ladies, the elections are even hotter. Every politician lies- they make promises and then denies them. The whole world heard them going live on radio and the telly promising roti, makaan and kapada for the masses. Or are they referring to themselves as the masses?

A helluva lot of big companies have this urge too - take Reliance, for example. When they first started out as a CDMA telecom provider, they said 40 paise per minute for local calls. Then they said 40 paise per minute for local calls between Reliance phones. They also quoted very low STD rates. Then they said very low STD rates between Reliance customers.

They said something; and then they said something. Sow what'd Reliance have me do - buy their phones for my family members, my girlfriend and my dog so that I can avail of low phone costs?

I pity those who fell for the Reliance offer at the start of the decade.

As for my friend, he'd probably start with his own personal dictionary.

Savez-vous Paris? Vous me savez ?

No, I'm not talking about the French capital. I'm talking about Paris Hilton (poor lass' been in the news for all the wrong reasons).

From a hidden sex tape to getting engaged to a Greek shipping tycoon's son, calling it off, starring in reality shows and also being the most photographed celebrity on the New York's up-nosed party circuits, you're looking at a very busy person. And did you know that she designs toys and jewellery too?

And she aint like those people who appear at Bangalore's social parties. I mean, for those of us who subscribe to Times of India, a mention of page three of Bangalore Times should be enough.

I know Manesh, Sonia, Milton, Audrey, Shyam, Nelly, Monica, Philip, Kumar, Shania, Hafeez, Betty, Lingam, Michael and Babul because they're all there in page three- either with drink in hand, or wearing noodle straps, or even attending a holi party.

But do they do anything else besides that? Thats because if they did, they would be on any other page except three.

And So The World Turns...

I really fancy the way some things work. Recently, a friend of mine spent Rs. 1500 for two medical text books, that would approximately weigh in at 6 kgs together. Bibin figured out how medical students pass their exams: they cant fall asleep reading the books lying on their backs because the weight would ultimately suffocate them.

Its quite unnerving how these doctors carry around all these fat books. For me, they'd substitute going to the gym.

I've spent the last three years doing my PG, and I've learnt most of my theory from a text by a publisher named Subhas Stores. We dont spend so much on them, neither do we study the entire text - we take xeroxes of the required parts, rush through them and then give it off to our juniors.

Of course, we manage to pass. Come to think of it, how could anyone compare a Rs. 1000 text and a Rs. 30 xerox. I guess we cant really blame doctors for charging so much.

And I still fancy how some things work...

So How Much You Earning?

Credit card companies and their executives are definitely a cursed bunch, I bet. They're good at getting people to sign up for credit cards, and they're also outside my bank ATM. This was a call I got while I was at office:

'Hello Sir, this is Archana from -------. Sir, Your name is Jens, no sir?'

I'm quite surprised she knows my name, and I answer in the affirmative.

'Sir, would you be interested in a ------- credit card? Its very cheap.'

I wasnt really interested, but I asked her to continue as she'd taken the trouble to call me up and knew my name.

'Sir, we have very low interest rates and you can pay back in 45 days. Its very easy to apply, sir, and you will have the card very quickly. Not only that sir, if you apply now, you will also get a free assured gift.'

Gifts are usually free unless you're dying to get back at someone. By this time, I got quite bored, and sighed. I dont know if that was a sign she felt comfortable with but she carried on.

'If you apply now, sir, you will get a free lifetime membership with ------- club and you can avail their facilities free of cost. Sir, is this your address?'

Archana proceeds to blurt my address out, and waits for me to confirm. I reply and she goes on.

'This is a one time offer sir and if you take it, it will be good for you.'

And good for your company too, Archana. I have to admit, I'm afraid of credit cards and their companies- not just because you have to pay them, but they've got so many big tongue-twisting monetary terms that give you a headache. The next was her last and final question.

'So sir, I shall sign you up and send you a credit card as soon as possible. Sir, whats your monthly income?'

I had to be horribly frank here and told Archana I get Rs. 5000.

'Uh, um' This was followed by a short pause; I believe she was looking up something. 'Sir, we cant give you a credit card for that income. You need to have more.' And then she ends the call.

Archana didnt tell me how much more I needed to own a credit card but she definitely made my day.

Lone and Stone

Its been quite a long while since my last post. And why not - I've been tied up working all alone on the new project. We've havent got the exact requirements yet, but we're working on a prototype. Its kinda difficult work alone, but it adds to the experience.

The monthly birthday bash was held last Friday. There were only 3 birthday people, but two were abroad.

Praveen's made a splash with his new hair style and he's really splashed out for it, getting all the works at Vibes in Koramangala.

Basic Instinct 2's out. Reviews say that Ms. Stone (you know who I'm talking about) gets resistable as she tries all the more to become more irresistable. We cant say much about Michael Douglas, since he's too old now; besides his attempt to become irresistable would have made the audience throw up.