Is That A Bribe? Welcome To India!!

The movie 'Rang De Basanti' was about weeding out corruption from the Indian system. I'm using the word system here because its intended as a collective noun which specifies that all systems here are corrupt. I'm all praise for Rakyesh Om Prakash Mehra and his crew. In fact, I was so impressed with 'Rang De Basanti' that I bought its VCD!!

The other day when a friend of mine and I were on our way to church, we hit a traffic jam. Lady Luck wasnt with us, and the cops picked us up. Whats worse is that we were on a Kerala registered bike. There were a lot of Karnataka registered bikes around, but we were 'The Chosen Ones'.

The cop spoke English, and told us that we couldnt drive around with a bike thats registered in another state unless we've paid the road tax here in Karnataka. We didnt come off scotfree, we paid him Rs. 100. Many of you may call it a bribe, but here its part of the system; it goes with the flow.

I have great respect for CM H. D. Kumaraswamy and he's yet to fulfill some of his promises. One of those promises is to fill the 4000 vacncies in the police department. Somehow I wish he wouldnt keep that promise. I havent got anything against the cops, but keeping that promise would definitely mean more corruption, more 'Chosen Ones' and more 100 rupee notes changing hands.

Cash or card, saar??

Confused?? Me Too!!

There're times when things can be said, and then there're time when the same thing can be said diferently. Come to think of it- how many times have you argued with a friend when he utters a number, say, '561-251-695' and you say it as '56-12-51-695'.

People, its the same thing; your friend said three numbers at a time and you said the name number, two at a time. And you feel like kicking yourself when you find out its the same thing. I've heard people argue for quite some time in a situation like that.

I remember a joke that happened during an army inspection by the general. One of the cadets was asked the time to which he replied, 'Oh eight hundred hours, sir'. The general pulled him up and sternly warned him, 'Its not 'Oh', its zero.'

'Zero eight hundred hours, sir', came the correction.

'Whats your name, soldier?', the general asked.

'Zero Malley, sir', came the reply.

C'mon, you really cant blame the soldier, he was just following orders.

It happens that way when you've got two people running a department. One says 'Do it this way', the other says 'Do it my way'. You're so confused, because either way you're at the receiving end.

Why It Pays To Be Faithful.

We live in a world full of 20-somethings, you know, PYTs who make a fast buck, splurge (I love that word. Lemme say that again: ssppullrrrge) on the latest gadgets, hog at fast food joints, chill out at the pub and pffffttzzz - day's over. Back to work.

I was reading on the web and found out that NASA uses Intel's 386 processors on board its shuttles. I know, you're looking at space travel and I'm talking about processors that are long dead and buried. But blessed are those processors, for they keep rising from their supposed tombs.

NASA has its own explanation: the 386 is a tried and tested platform, they're cheap and have an incredible tolerance to heat. Plus, they dont suffer from travel sickness.

I was thinking of selling my Nokia 6100 and picking up a Motorola V3i, but a friend talked me out of it. He asked me to list out the features of the V3i. Did that.

He then asked me to list out features that I would use on a weekly basis. Did that.

A week has 7 days. Out of the 7 days, how many days, on an average, would I be using those features? Did that.

I should've been kicking myself. I mean, my calculations saw me use those features for an average of 1 day per week. And thats mostly on the weekends, and I pay an arm and a leg for that!!

Being faithful pays, even if that means you end up living in the past with outdated technology. Flintstones, anyone? I yaba daba doo!!

Because It Was A 'HIT' Joke...

I was having lunch with a bunch of friends last weekend when one of them cracked a joke.

'Four cockroaches were walking and one of them cracked a joke. All the cockroaches died. Why?'

We passed looks like when we get to answer an exam we didnt study for. It took a while for the question to go around and with all of us giving up 'Why'.

No prizes for guessing, and all hands down- the answer is the title of this post.

C'mon, people!!! The chicken crossed the road because it wanted to get to the other side, or possibly because it was the chicken's own damn business. And he didnt bother anyone.

And what of the ant and the elephant jokes? You wouldnt even try tickling the elephant, let alone get near an ant who's friends wih an elephant!!

PJ's we call them. And they all come up at the wrong time. Humor, my friends, is a very effective ingredient for friendship and love- dont waste them on PJs.

And do you want to know what we did to they guy who cracked the 'HIT' joke?? Well, we 'HIT' him, and then we 'HIT' on him, and then... Aaaaaaaaaargh!!!